Madonna mia?

Apparently this nude picture of Madonna sold for $37000. While I definitely would not want to see this picture day in day out, apparently there are others who would.

To think what Madonna has done to Madonna!

The married guy

How casually do we take casual sex?

I would like to think that I take it pretty casually. I have had sex with at least two married guys, having known beforehand they were married. I have had sex with a man who was married to another man. I also had the singular experience of having sex with a guy who, after the act was over, told me he had a girlfriend, and that the girlfriend knew that he was having sex with guys, and that apparently she found it arousing!

However, recently I had made a resolution that I would not have sex with married men. I did not want to be responsible for any heartaches. But today I am wondering if that was rather queer of me. Ideal casual sex, like the ideal geometrical point, should have no past and no future, simply existence. So why should it matter if or not the partner is married? Quite a few of my friends do not have any qualms if the person they are having sex with is married. Somehow I cannot quite do that, I feel awkward, even a touch guilty.

Is it simply being in the right, feeding the self-righteous ego? Or is it some subconcious defense against the possibility of falling for a guy that I cannot have? Or is it simply the fact that most married men are anyways not worth having sex with?

What confuses me is that I do not think I would have a problem breaking in upon a couple, unmarried, should I desire one of them, or simply for the heck of it. But I would have a problem with a married man. Perhaps I have been, indeed, conditioned by the age old social norms and customs to sub-conciously identify marriage as the only acceptable sign of a relationship. Perhaps I should simply go out and have sex with as many married men as I can find so I can refute this thought. That should be interesting, if not satisfying.

It's ironic how finding answers is so much more difficult and ambiguous than finding a hook-up on one of the sites.

Perhaps love.

We say everything but the things we should.

Denial, or simply hesitation I do not care to know.

Resolutions

This is the time of the year when everybody makes resolutions...so that by the 3rd week of 2009 they can look back and wonder how is it that they have such litle self constraint.

well....to keep the tradition up...here are some of the resolutions i have shortlisted to pick from.

1) Be more tolerant of stupidity.
2) Lose the 2 pounds that I have gained in the past 3 months.
3) Start working out...in some form other than sex.
4) Stop watching snl parodies on Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton. (Yes yes....whatever!)
5) Try to understand how people spend such huge amounts on soap.
6) Think twice before I add Soy Sauce to my food again...In case you are wondering...read it here.
7) Try and keep a smiling face when random females try to 'save' me in supermarkets!
8) Sleep with a priest/padre/preacher/nun.
9) Stop expecting intelligence in the dating/hook up sites.

Cannot quite think anything else that I may want to do in the next year...but I definitely shall keep on updating this list.

Cheers!

strawberries

Wish you all a fantastique 2009!

Now THAT'S what I call Christmas!

Colours of the Fall 3

Colours of the Fall 2

(This one has been retouched on Picassa, but I just increased the shadows to enhance the contrast...touche!)

Of mirages and realities...

I saw B online after a long long time two days back, and I realized that I have not been blogging. It's funny, I am going back to being the nerd I was while in my undergrads!

Anyways, I was chatting with this kid from India (I abhor the way it sounds!)...well...no that's no big deal...I do chat with lots of people from India...but this was different, no...not the kid...but the chat!

This was just after the American general elections were over, and he was all upset about the proposition 8 being passed by California. I found that funny...some kid in India was UPSET about some gay marriage law being banned in the US. He became even more upset when he realized that I was not really aware of the whole scene, and the fact that I did not care too much about it either. He even asked me if my role model was 'Brian'. I did not understand who 'Brian' was...and he was even more 'disappointed' in me because of that. His reaction was almost as though I was not qualified to be gay as I was not 'homosocially' aware enough...or aware of the popular gay culture, or the icons for that. Of course he did not say it out...and I am certain I am making him sound much more rude than he really was.

But I just happened to notice a general pattern here...one that of conformation.

Things are difficult for gay men in India. And somehow, the movies, serials and literature make gay life in the western countries easy. I recall a 'friend' of B and me whose dream was to find a teaching job in some 'obscure' town in Canada, find a 'nice' Canadian men to 'marry and settle down'...and 'live happily ever after'.

This kid, last we chatted, wanted to move out of India, to some european country, or to the US or Canada, find some guy and settle down.

And of course they believe in strict monogamy...marriage and everything holy.

I am just confused.

It is difficult for gay men in India. However, I am yet to know about somebody being killed in that country because he was gay. Gay men in India are ridiculed at, made fun of; but they are not tortured and killed for that.

Just two rather recent incidents in the US:
1. a 14 year old gay kid gives a valentines day card to his classmate; the classmate gets a baseball bat and pounds the kid to death.
2. 3 'straight' men 'lure' a 21 year old gay man, take him to the woods, rape him, torture him, tie him up with barb-wire and leave him to die. He dies after 3 days...tied with barb wire in the woods.

Oh! I did find out who 'Brian' is.

Colours of the Fall 1

Move & Pick

Yesterday I went to my first Move n Pick meet in Chennai. I had no plans for the day save maybe catch up with a chat buddy for dinner, but that fizzled out due to his work commitments..so I decided to go and say hello to the boys.

Paul and V, two of the guys I have been chatting with on g4m, were the ones who told me that there was a meet happening. So I made it to the beach and it was dark already when I reached. The guys where sitting in a circle on the sand and generally talking, slowly a few other guys came in...we all said our hellos, well I must admit I should have introduced my self to every one, I just let be. I was seeing a few for the first time , but then I also knew a few faces..which made it easy.....not much happened, save the discussion on doing a parents meet for a few folks who had shown some interest..and the meeting broke up and we headed out to Dinner.

So A, I did it and no I was miss manners personified, I even managed to mind my P's&Q's in front of the young ones..albeit with a little help from a friend. I definitely hope to see more of the group, but I sure hope they come up with more intresting stuff...I did hear about a screening...Stone Wall any one!!

OH! Yeah!

Oh yeah! Verbosity in the sac, now that's a touchy area. A's already aired his views, but damn it can be sexy, specially when its spontaneous and natural. But, then it stops there, spontaneity in sex and improvisation ( read Kink) is lost to most Indian men.

How would it sound if a man who is proud of his ability to get into skinny jeans goes, Oh yeah bitch, do u want it!! don't sound convincing..or remote sexy, on the other hand a butch, big bear doing the same can fuck me till kingdom come...I m not saying that I am always good with being verbose or it works all the time, but when it is said right, Hallelujah!!

Pillow Talks

Whats with the verbosity in the sack?

Half the men I do here wants me to talk while I am in the act. And no, it's not about intimacy, but more of porn talk...'yeah...you like that hole'...'use me' and so on...and they expect me to respond to that.

Well, B would call me an incompetent stuck-up tight-ass snob, but I really can't do the whole dirty talk. I am half the time clueless as to what's appropriate in the situation, and the other half, I am trying not to burst out laughing.

A few samples...

"yeah...fuck me...fuck me hard"
"use that hole"
"use me"
"my ass warm?"
"I want you to breed me"

Even when I am writing this, I feel very very weird. It almost feels like the men are trying to live a porn movie or something of that sort. Of course, with an Indian, its gotta be exotic porn...but still...it is kind of weird.

Don't get me wrong here, I have nothing against men who are vocal in bed...its fine by me....but there seems to be a predominence of them in here, and they want me to talk to them. Nothing wrong there...the only issue is that my experience in pillow talk to random men so far goes only to the extent of incoherent grunts and laughter....I like it when I make my men squeal in pleasure...but talk...hmmph...thats not something I have done before, or see myself doing in the near future....

And yet, here I am, trying to figure out some lines I can use in the sack so I don't need to think them while in the act.

Again...what's with all that talk?

The Curry in the Closet

Now that's one aspect of the blog that, I am guilty of neglecting. When we created the blog our intention was also to cook and share. So it's time we set this right and also start blogging about our food.

A and I share a different, yet similar culinary heritage. We are fortunate enough to have grown up, in a part of the country where the food and produce is distinctly different. So it was no surprise, that A and I bonded instantly, over fermented fish et al. when we were both looking for flatmates.

I think food is all about creating memories, new, old, good times with family and friends, a bad dinner..it all stays with you. So when you cook you try in some ways to recreate and relive these moments, well at least the good ones.

As with many a people, away from their homes and lands, food was all about reliving memories of home, and along the way I am sure we created a few that will remind us of our home, The Curry Closet.

PS: The mast head was taken in the flat next door, I had borrowed the empty flat kitchen for a big dinner thrown for some friends. I was getting my mis en place ready and had mounds of chopped tomatoes, onion, garlic and herbs..and A was all over the colorful spread. We got one lovely picture, with a Green chilly on a pile of chopped tomatoes...and that my friends is what you see on the mast, of The Curry Closet.

November Rains

It's drizzling in Chennai! I have been walking in the rains for the last 2 hours on the beach..It's pure bliss. I don't remember when I got drenched in the rains last..years, I used to get wet in College ages ago.


I had plans to meet a friend for a drink but it got canceled, so I had the evening to myself. Perfect!


I t had been some time since I had last spent time at the beach. So It had to be Elliot's. When I left home in the evening it was breezy and the cloudy..I decided perfect time to do the beach. And as if on cue, it started drizzling as soon as I crossed Murgan Idly Shop near Elliot's beach. It was perfect.


This is how i remember November evenings back home, damp, slightly nippy the lights gleaming in the evening fog. Somehow the whole of last week I have been missing the winters. My favorite thing to do in winter when I am home is to walk in the evenings along tree lined streets around the Governors House, the fog just settling in and the street lights on ...It's deserted and you are sometimes the only one walking.

This is where I smoked my first cigarette, my escape when my folks used to nag me to get serious with my school work. I have come a long way, and ages since I have seen winters back home..but I can still remember it, every little nip of the cold.